Chapter 43

Because as much as I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to cause him any pain. At least not physically. Out of everyone, they understood the things I couldn't overlook. The limits that couldn't be crossed and who I was. The Mafia was first, and they had the power to make me hate myself further than what I believed I already did. This was if I was ever forced to make the one call I dreaded. Their lives.

"He admitted to loving her," Elio said, but it was weak and failed to deliver its meaning as he too didn't understand such feeling.

I laughed. It was dark and foul.

"Look at what love has brought him." I spat the word like a curse.

Love had brought him risk and disloyalty.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked, but for once, he didn't seek my reply.

"Find out who she is and where she lives."

"And then?"

"Nothing. We just need to know where her home is."

Elio exhaled loudly.

"And do me a favor. Don't fuck someone with a badge. I'm done being tested by my own brothers."

I stepped inside the house without a farewell and headed straight to my office for a full glass of bourbon. I didn't bother with ice. After a gulp, I refilled it and placed it by my desk to discard my jacket. My cufflinks followed, tossing them by the glass and not caring where they landed. I tugged and tugged at my tie, too frustrated to work out the knot.

"Hey."

I stopped, looked up, and saw Alessandra by the doorway. I needed a minute before I faced her, and yet, I didn't stop her from walking inside. Her hands held a small glass bowl, small red balls rolling as she stepped deeper inside with her lips a shade darker. Her fingers met her lips, and her teeth enclosed a tiny seed in her mouth. Her fingertips pinched it before placing it inside the glass.

"Let me," she offered, and I shook my head.

She didn't listen; she never did. Instead, she placed the bowl in the corner of the desk, and I was able to see inside it.

"Cherries?" I questioned darkly.

"They are my favorite fruit. I pretty much eat them every day." Alessandra closed the distance, and I kept my eyes on her as her hands lifted, and with her slender fingers, she gently fiddled with the tie.

I couldn't look away from her lips. Their antagonizing color and the taste they would reward if I ran my tongue over them. My tie came undone, and she freed two buttons, allowing my stress to be relieved.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

But I wanted to test out a theory. Dangerous theory, but control had left long ago, and that was how I found my fingers inside the bowl.

I picked a deep-red cherry and brought it to her lips.

Alessandra's eyes locked as I ran the cherry over her bottom and upper lip. I pressed it tighter onto her mouth, seeing if she would dare.

She did.

Her lips parted, her mouth opened slightly, and I pushed the cherry slowly until her teeth sunk down its side. She closed her mouth, leaving me with a half-eaten cherry and a hard dick.

My fingers were wet from her mouth and the juice that ran from the fruit. Quietly, she chewed as I kept the fruit over her lips. They were damp, stained, and when a full drop ran from the corner of her lips and my theory had been proven, I took a step closer.

I popped the rest of the cherry into my mouth. I lifted her up with my hand firmly against her jaw so that I could follow the trail left by the drop.

I played with the leftover seed in my mouth while her chest rose and her eyes swirled in need. She looked edible as heat rose to her cheeks, and her hands timidly reached for my cuff. She began rolling them back as a distraction, but I needed her hands where discomfort had become too hard to ignore as my pants trapped my dick painfully, begging for her touch.

The drop was almost at its end of life. I picked the seed from my mouth with my free hand, pocketing it into my pants and pulling her lower half to meet my stiff bulge.

Alessandra yelped with parted lips. They connected and her hands held my forearms tightly as I pressed her deeper into me. Her head pulled back as a drop hung from her jaw.

I dove for it.

Done with conversations and betrayals for the day, I only wanted to release the pent-up anger that vibrated through my veins.

My tongue licked its sweetness, and I nipped, punishing her skin for such exquisite taste. Because now, I wanted more. My grip tightened around her jaw forcing it back further, and I licked the trail up to her lips, and when I'd found them, I pulled back, taking one last look at their color.

But Alessandra licked them, and my eyes met her shining greens before I crashed my mouth onto her plump lips, seeking her tongue for the taste of my now favorite fruit.

Alessandra hummed as our lips collided, the vibration reached my mouth, and I held back a groan as my dick twitched. Her body arched, and I took everything she gave with greed. Our mouths synced with thirst, desperate for more.

She tasted sweet as the forbidden fruit I should've never taken. But as anything forbidden, it only made the craving unsustainable.

Alessandra's hands clawed my chest, balling my shirt with her fists, begging to continue.

With one hand on her hip and the other tangling her hair between my fingertips, I continued the assault my lips offered as they abused and trapped her mouth fiercely.

Our kiss wasn't gentle.

I had warned her.

My lips punished, my mouth demanded. Now that I had tasted her, I couldn't restrain my cruel hands or brutal desire. Instead, they reigned with need over her body.

I pulled her bottom lips between my teeth before licking its sting away, but as her body arched and her throat gave a raspy low sound, I bit harder.

"Massimo," Alessandra murmured impatiently, and I was so far gone that I allowed myself to feel and prey without thinking. The only control I had left was the control to demand.

With one hand on Alessandra's firm ass, I pushed her hips against me again and again, listening to the muffled whimpers she kept from slipping past our lips.

I was ready to take her, to spread her open over the desk and dive my dick inside her heat as her nails dug deeply, bringing blissful pain to my demon.

Her finger touched my cheek, and a memory stole me away.

"I promise I'll be back, Massimo. I would never leave you behind." My mother's eyes swore, as her petite and soft hand reached my face. It cupped my cheek tenderly beneath the veil of sea dew that sheltered the night. "Happy birthday, piccolo." Her warm touch vanished with her words, and I was alone in front of hell with blood soiled clothes and murderous hands.

My hand shot out, violently connecting to the one that had caressed my face. Twisting it with force and away until I heard the piercing cry of pain.

As soon as I spotted Alessandra's stunned expression and pinched brows, I let go. I looked down at her right hand as she pulled it to her chest, taking a step back.

Her wrist reddened, and her mouth opened in disbelief.

"Don't touch my face again." My voice and heart sneered with hatred before I walked away.

I should've never allowed her inside.

Without control, I was capable of anything.

Anything.

ALESSANDRA

It could have been a hallucination my mind orchestrated, but the pressure between my legs and the pain his brutal lips had delivered proved it was in fact real.

Massimo kissed with wicked malice. Its force only offered pleasure, extorting feelings of need and desire. Compelling me to forget and fall deeply in want. And I wanted him. Wanted what he offered, influencing my body into surrender. For my mind to tolerate what my heart forbids.

In the heat of hunger, I reacted to what I was given, and my hand reached for his face. It was warm, firm, and his trimmed beard pricked below my fingertips, heightening the mixed feelings of craving.

But it was short-lived as Massimo's eyes held nothing, transforming into black and voided irises as his mind pulled away from me until the pain crashed down.

Incomparable to what my wrist had received earlier in the day, this crushing pain shot through my body as his grip held me without mercy. What used to be tender had burned and was replaced by excruciating agony created by him.

I held my tears back as I cried out.

Massimo released me, and instantaneously, I brought my hand to my chest, pulling it as far as I could from his hold. His eyes remained vacant as I searched for him. It was useless.

Massimo had abandoned the present and had been left with cruelty.

"Don't touch my face again."

His threat had been clear, and Massimo had warned me once, but I always pushed all limits. This time, I was met by my own undoing.

He left me behind with pain and trapped the tears that pooled over deception.

Massimo never came home that night, and while my body tossed and my heart ached in his sheets, I curled my body close, knowing he had broken his promise.

Tonight, I bared the bruises he'd inflicted on my body.

ALESSANDRA

I woke up this morning with a weary soul, an aching heart, and a shadowed spirit.

I'd been so busy surviving that I'd forgotten to live.

While defeat felt strong, I left the covers and comfort to face my worth.

I followed my daily routine with two Tylenol and pushed through the day with a brave mask. Thoughts of him periodically came and went, and each time, I shoved them aside. If I entertained them, it would leave me with more disappointment.

I liked anger and avoidance best. They empowered my heart into chaos.

Massimo created a monster with every challenge and deny given. One that sought and fought to overrule all else.

As I swam underwater, I made sure to feel the sting of my wrist while it pushed me to the other end of the pool. Each stroke took me into a state of apathy. I came up for air, only to push my feet off the wall and submerge myself beneath the chilling temperature that eased my troubled soul.

With burning lungs, I kicked faster, stretching my hand out and waiting for the pool edge to meet my fingertips. When I made contact with the gritty concrete and smooth tile, I pulled up, gasping for air.

Water dripped from my face and into my eyes as I opened them to the sight of dress shoes. I followed their trail and met Massimo's stare peering down with a plush towel in hand. Seeing as he wore a dress shirt and pants, I knew the towel wasn't meant for him.

I stayed in the water with no intention of leaving. Massimo turned and picked up a black portfolio from the outdoor table that hadn't been there when I arrived. He dragged a chair to the edge of the pool, folded the towel across the back of it, and sat.

Taking deep breaths to control my breathing, I placed my arms on the pool border, crossing them to stay above the water.