Chapter 20

I can't do that, Lena, I can't lie to her.

It's either that or you have to take your baby out forcefully, which would be traumatizing for everyone. This way is easier, she will understand one day once she comes out of her trance. Right now she still believes your baby is alive and, for now, we have to let her believe that because it would absolutely destroy her if we forced this reality on her. She needs to process and then mourn at her own pace.

I don't like this Lena, I wish it didn't have to be this way.

I know child. I know.

I took a deep breath and looked at Allison, "I promise. We won't take Aspen-Eve away."

Raidon was about to process and I gave him a subtle head shake. I walked up to the bed and took the tiny bundle from Allison. She seemed so small in my arms, my sweet baby girl. I gently brushed my hand over her hair, trying my hardest not to cry. I felt the familiar sting in my eyes and nose as a tear fell onto her face. I gently wiped it away, wishing that the moon goddess would bring my baby life she deserves to live. If I had the choice, I would give my life in exchange for her's in a heartbeat.

I felt Raidon come up beside me. I handed her over to him. His eyes were red, he was trying equally as hard as I was to hold it together. I wish this didn't have to be goodbye. It isn't fair that we have to say goodbye to our baby girl. It's fucking heartbreaking.

I felt the mindlink with Lena open again.

It is time, we need you guys to bring your baby out. If she doesn't get prepped soon, her body will begin to decompose.

I sighed and looked at Raidon. He understood that it was time.

"I think she needs her diaper changed. I'll go do that and be right back." Raidon said.

"Okay, let me give her a kiss first." Allison waved him over.

She kissed Aspen-Eve on the head and then looked between Raidon and I,"Why are you both crying?"

"It's tears of happiness Ali, it is such a blessing to meet our baby girl." I answered, but my voice cracked as I fought my sadness.

She grabbed Raidon's arm before he could take our baby out of the room,"On second thought, I think I will go change her." She stated.

"Allison, it's okay, rest. You just gave birth. We can handle a diaper change." Raidon said as he tried to remove his arm from her grasp.

"No, I think I will do it." She started to sit up out of bed.

She cannot come, this will break her. You need to keep her in the room.

Lena spoke into my mind.

"Raidon will take her. Why don't I stay here and keep you company?" I made my way to Allison's bed and sat next to her, placing my arm around her.

"Damon, I am serious. I am taking her." She tried to stand up and stop Raidon again, but I tightened my hold around her waist, trying to hold her in place. Raidon made his way towards the door as Allison fought harder against me.

"What is going on, Damon? Why can't I go with him?"

"I'm sorry Allison, you just can't."

"You promised Damon, you fucking promised!" She screamed at me while scratching my arms, fighting with everything she had to get out of my grip.

I cried silently as I held her close. I felt her pain through our bond, it was worse than any pain I have ever felt.

I could feel her body heating up as the glow spread up her arms. It was burning me as if my arms were in a fire, but I just held on to her, preventing her from seeing whatever was going on out there with our baby girl. My skin was melting off as she burned hotter. I bit my tongue hard to hold in any sounds.

Allison flung her arms open and I went crashing into the wall. She dropped to her knees and let out a loud scream. One that was full of heartbreak and sorrow. It shattered windows and shook the entire house. She put her head in her hands and continued sobbing.

"You promised me, Damon, you promised me and you still had her taken away. You lied, and I will never forgive you. I hope you die, Damon. You, grandmother and Raidon. You all deserve to die for whatever you are planning to do with my child. You are no better than Summer or Lucy. Is this what this is about? You want her blood to make you stronger? You sick bastards. What the hell is wrong with you? She is your daughter! A little baby!" She yelled at me.

I went down on the floor next to her, "Allison, I promise you, that couldn't be further from the truth. We would never hurt her." I begged, trying to take her hands in mine, trying to show her my sincerity.

"Then tell me what is going on!" She demanded.

"I can't Allison, I can't. You're not ready. I never meant for it to happen this way. I'm sorry, so fucking sorry."

"Tell me or I will kill you right now Damon!"

"You don't mean that, you aren't thinking straight right now, Ali." I hoped she would one day understand why we did it this way,

She stood up, her eyes glowing bright white. She raised her hand and I felt like I was being crushed. I couldn't breathe. I tried fighting it, but my body was forced to lie down flat, as if in an invisible press, I heard a loud snap as one of my ribs broke under the pressure. I let out a roar as I tried to fight it.

I couldn't take much more and I wasn't sure how far Allison was willing to take this. I didn't want to tell her this way, but it might be the only way.

"She.....she is...gone...." I forced the words out in between gasps for air.

The invisible weight was gone in an instant and Allison's glow disappeared.

"What are you talking about gone?" She demanded.

"Dead Allison, she is dead, she died before birth. I'm sorry I had to tell you this way." I sat up, trying to ignore the sharp pain from the broken rib.

Allison looked at me in disbelief for a moment, but I could tell by the look on her face the moment she realized I was telling the truth. I saw the tears start flowing down her face as she walked slowly to her bed. She looked at the pool of blood still there from giving birth, and curled up in the fetal position on top of it. She was staring at the wall, but it was like she wasn't even in her own body.

I tried connecting with her feelings through the bond, but all I felt was nothing. She felt empty. So hurt that she was completely numb to the pain. I started crying once I realized that she may not come out of this alive.

A:N hello readers, what do you think so far? I will start updating every Saturday, either two chapters or one long one, if I have time to write more I will. Thank you all for reading my book.

Funeral (TW)

Damon POV

Trigger warning for this chapter as it has talk of suicide.

It's been two days since our baby passed away. Allison has locked herself in her bedroom, she refuses to eat, she won't talk to anyone. It is like she is an empty shell. Today is our daughter's funeral. We have all tried to get Allison out of bed to be present for it but nothing we do or say works. She just continues staring at the wall in utter silence. It breaks us all to see her this way, and the feeling of darkness and emptiness is tugging at Raidon and I through our bond with her, as if it is tempting us to fall down this rabbit hole with her. We had decided to keep the funeral small. I did not want the entire pack there in case Allison joined us. They didn't need to see their Luna this way.

Lena, Leroy, Chad, Raidon and I all gathered around the tiny rose-pink coffin. I had it built just for her with her name engraved on the top as well as a baby wolf just underneath. We decided to have her grave underneath the large oak tree that Allison used to love reading under. I hope that when she feels better she will come here and read to our daughter. I placed near her headstone a small branch of an Aspen tree, and a flowering cactus plant known as Eve's pin and a stuffed baby wolf. All three things represented our baby girl. Leroy placed a small wolf charm, Chad placed a single rose. Raidon placed a bundle of pink roses and Lena placed a small pink crocheted baby blanket, "I made it the evening everyone came home. I knew she was going to be born quickly so I made it as fast as I could." Lena sniffled.

"It's beautiful." Raidon placed an arm around her shoulder to comfort her. With everything placed on Aspen-Eve's coffin, the priest began blessing our baby girl and willing her on a safe journey to join our moon goddess.

It was now our turn to say a few words. I decided to go first. I walked up to her tiny coffin and placed both of my hands on it as if it were the most delicate thing in the world. I felt the tears streaming down my face as I spoke to her,"Time is something we never think about, we never consider about how much or how little time we have with someone we love, until that time is stolen away from us. I keep thinking about all of the things you never got to experience. I wish you could have seen the love in your mother's eyes when she looked at you, the way she held you and protected you. I hope that every time I close my eyes it's to visit you in my dreams. I pray the moon goddess will let us be together one day. I thought I understood the meaning of love, and I do to an extent. But the love I hold for you is different than anything I have ever felt. It's a love that makes me want to kill anyone that would ever try to harm you. I failed to protect you, baby girl. I failed. I love you more than any words could begin to describe Aspen-Eve. I vow to always love you. You will never ever be forgotten." I sobbed as I knelt down and held onto her coffin as if my life depended on it.

I felt a small hand on my shoulder followed by the familiar sparks from my mate.

I slowly stood up and turned around to face Allison. She had tear-stained cheeks and red eyes as she looked at me. I immediately held her in a tight hug. I could feel her sobbing silently into my shoulder as we hugged,"You didn't fail her Damon, you didn't fail her." Allison muffled into my shoulder as she continued to cry.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything, Allison. I didn't mean to hurt you." I felt the guilt of what we did to her eating away at me.

"It's not your fault, I understand why you all needed to do it, I forgive you." She then pulled out of the hug and looked at everyone else gathered.

"Thank you all for this beautiful service." She said as she wiped her tears. Raidon then approached her and embraced her in a tight hug. The rest of the group spoke to Aspen-Eve. The last to go was Allison. She asked us if she could speak to her daughter in private, so we all gave her one last hug. She took the time to tell each of us how much she loves us and then she was left alone. We all went into the pack house to give her as much privacy as we could.

I looked out of the window and saw her sitting next to the coffin with something in her hand. I couldn't quite make out what it was. Just as I was about to take a closer look, Lena shouted from the top of the stairs, "GET TO ALLISON! MY GUN WITH SILVER BULLETS IS MISSING!" I didn't waste another second. I turned around as fast as I could and just as my hand touched the front to open it, we heard a loud gunshot. We all ran outside to Allison. I picked up her lifeless body as blood began to pool out. Raidon was right next to me holding her as he began to cry. Our entire world came crashing around us. Raidon and I screamed in pain as we felt our bond with Allison shatter into nothing with her death.

A:N Hello readers, hope you are enjoying. Apologies if the story get's boring at times, there is something big coming up within the next few chapters. Enjoy!

Goddess

Allison POV

It's been two days since my sweet baby passed away. I've locked myself in my room, unable to face the world. I feel like an empty shell, my entire heart scraped from my body the moment she passed away. It feels wrong to eat or sleep, it feels wrong to live without her in my arms. Today is supposed to be her funeral. Everyone has tried numerous times to get me out of bed, but it is like I am glued here, stuck in the wave of endless sadness. I know that my feelings are affecting Damon and Raidon through the bond. It would be selfish of me not to end the bond to save them from my pain dragging them down. I was lost in my thoughts when I overheard people talking at the funeral. It took every ounce of strength to look out my window. I pulled the curtain to the side, it truly was a beautiful service, small but absolutely perfect, placed right under my oak tree.

A stray tear rolled down my cheek. A mother should never have to witness her child's funeral, they are supposed to outlive us, live full and beautiful lives.

I watched on as an idea suddenly struck me. The moon goddess gifts things for something in return. Will she gift my baby life in exchange for me? It was a long shot but I knew that it was my last hope that my child could live. I knew that grandma, Damon and Raidon would love her with the entirety of their hearts.

I ran out of my room and started searching the house for a gun with silver bullets. I went to grandma's room. Something drew me there. I followed this feeling until I looked under the bed and saw a small brown box. I lifted it onto the bed and saw a beautifully engraved pistol, a dragon stretched up the barrel of one side. Its mouth opened at the barrel as if the bullets coming out were to be its fire. I found three silver bullets next to it and loaded each one as they burned my fingers.

I took the gun back to my room. I needed to change out of these bloody clothes and hug my loved ones one last time.

I put on a long black flowing dress and I found a belt that held the gun in place under my dress. I wanted to take my last breath next to my daughter.

I proceeded to walk down the stairs, trying my hardest to hold myself together. I went out the front door and began making my way towards the oak tree. I could hear every word that Damon spoke, and it shattered my heart to hear he blamed himself for her death. He knelt by the coffin, holding it as if his life depended on it. I couldn't help the tears that began flowing, not only from his words, but because of what I planned to do. I hugged him with everything I had, knowing it would be our last hug. I made sure he knew her death wasn't his fault. I gave Raidon the same bone crushing hug, knowing it would also be our last one. I would miss my mates, but I would do anything for my baby-girl, even if that means giving my own life for hers. I made sure each and everyone of them knew just how much I loved them. I listened quietly as everyone else said their good-byes to Aspen-Eve. I didn't want anyone to witness what I planned to do, so I asked for privacy to speak with my daughter, which they all granted.

As soon as I heard the door to the packhouse close, I knew that I was alone with her. I sat next to her coffin as I pulled out the gun that was hidden under my dress and held it in my hands.

"I love you so much babygirl. I hope you never forget my love for you." I heard grandma yelling in the packhouse. I knew that it was now or never now that she knew her gun was gone. Without a second thought, I placed the gun to my head, cocked it and pulled the trigger.

I woke up in a soft field of white flowers. I am now wearing a white dress. I got up to look at my surroundings. That is when I saw her in the distance. A small bundle in the grass, pitch black hair. Perfectly wrapped in a little white blanket. I ran as fast as my legs could take me, I dropped to my knees and picked her up, holding her tightly against me, as tightly as I could without hurting her,"Oh my baby, my sweet little baby. Mommy loves you more than anything, Aspen-Eve." I sobbed as I held her.

She wiggled in my arms and I was met with electric blue eyes. She was perfect. Absolutely perfect, and she was alive. I didn't know how long I had here with her so I planted kisses all over her face, my tears dripping onto her.

"I'm glad you got to have this moment with her, Allison. You deserve it more than anyone."

I whipped around, holding Aspen-Eve close to me, but quickly loosened my grip when I realized who was speaking to me.

"Hello Selene, I'm so sorry that I cannot fulfill the duties you require of me. I don't see the purpose of life without her in it." I teared up, unable to control my sadness, realizing I would most likely be separated from my baby girl soon.

"It's okay child, you see your sacrifice was incredibly brave, and I know that I am asking a lot from you. So I have a gift for you, one that will come at a cost. You and your baby can return to your world together." Selene said as she knelt next to us and stroked Aspen-Eve's hair.

"What is the cost, Selene?" I asked, worried about what it might be.

"You will be unable to produce any more children."

"I'll do it. Anything for my baby girl."

She simply nodded and placed a hand on my head.

I felt a rush as I was pushed back to earth. I gasped for air, the only words I could choke out were,"The coffin, get her out of the coffin."

I could hear people moving around and the coffin lid opening, followed by tiny cries.

"It's a miracle." I heard someone say, knowing that my baby was now safe, I let sleep take me away.