Chapter 21

***Kenya.***

*Tuesday morning.*

Standing in one of the chapel rooms, I gazed at myself in the big mirror.

It was a small and sparsely decorated room, but with tasteful furnishing. I watched as the makeup artist put finishing touches to my face, trying to hold back the tears. My sister and Mum stood behind me, with my sister's face pale. Like she had seen a ghost. Ever since she was properly introduced to Levi, when she arrived at the church, she had been reserved. Honestly, I should have been puzzled about her demeanor, but I didn't, because she wasn't the one to be shackled forever to a brute.

With Levi's permission, I invited Mum, Amanda and Alan to the wedding.

So, after Levi left, I approached Mum about the subject. He had enjoyed the tarts we made, much to my displeasure, mind you. Mum had been elated, both of them chatting on the table, as if they were friends forever. He had a way with women, even my Mum.

Mum, surprised, when I broke the news of my impending wedding, had asked twenty questions. 'Do you love him? Are you sure? Are you pregnant?' I had answered her, nervously. My tone was as firm as I could. Finally, she had jumped with glee. Her excitement rivalling my sour mood. She called my sister, informing her of the good news. My sister was shocked as we went last minute shopping for their outfits. Even when I told them I didn't need a collection of sexy nighties, they didn't budge.

They bought everything.

So there you have it. Everyone had shown immense delight and shock at the news. But no one had bothered to see the tear-streaked face of the bride. Or I had only masked it too well. Hence, no one noticed.

Later at night, I had lain in bed, my body taut from all the pain I had suppressed within me. I hadn't been able to eat any bite of food all day. Even those delicious tarts I had made. But in spite of the pangs of hunger I felt, I had resigned myself to suffering all the hurt I deserved for attracting such an obnoxious man.

Every other girl attracted the attention of normal men. But I had gone ahead to attract such a vile man. A man that stirred my insides at the mere mention of his name. At the sound of his voice. My wedding which I had always dreamed of as a little girl was now hijacked by someone so despicable and there was nothing to it. With all that in mind, I hadn't even been aware when sleep had carried me away.

"Why are you marrying that man, Kenya?"

I heard my sister's voice, so quiet that I wouldn't have heard her. We were alone in the room.

Instead of answering my sister, I turned a grave face to the mirror. The girl in front of me was so beautiful, but frightened. My stomach growled from hunger, but I ignored the rumbling.

"Ken? Answer me." Amanda pressed. I turned a sad gaze at her sister. And I think my expression have me away. Fear. Anguish.

"Oh honey..." Amanda rushed to me, taking me in a tender embrace.

I broke into uncontrollable sobs and just held my sister.

After a little while, Amanda asked.

"Have I been too hard on you...pressing you to marry a man of high standards?" She probed, quietly.

I noticed that my sister held her breath as she waited for my response. And I wondered why she felt this way. I pulled back from the hug and watched my elder sister.

There was guilt and something like remorse in Amanda's eyes, but I had no idea what Amanda would feel these shades of emotions for. Cleaning my eyes with my fingers, I breathed softly.

"You haven't been hard on me, Amanda...I...I just didn't expect that marriage would come this soon." I lied, smoothly.

"Then why rush into it?" Amanda questioned, impatiently.

"Because..." My voice rose a little in anger. Then i breathed to calm myself before I continued. "Because if I didn't, I wouldn't be complete... Levi wouldn't be complete... Everyone would be ruined." I finally voiced out, trembling inside. I wanted to tell Amanda everything. The little girl in me that always cried to her big sister when we were little. But I held myself back.

Well, most of what i just said was almost true. If this marriage wasn't done, the ruination of my family and Claudine, would cause my unhappiness, hence my incompleteness. On the other hand, I had no idea where Levi's completeness would stem from if the marriage went through. Perhaps it would stem from seeing me miserable for the rest of my life in the marriage.

A silence fell between us, as Amanda maintained a steady gaze on me. I squirmed under her studious gaze. There was something Amanda must have seen in my eyes, but she didn't press. I was grateful for that small favor.

Inhaling, Amanda continued.

"I am not in the least bit convinced on your reasons. But you are a young woman now...I can't question your decisions. I can't force you. I just hope you know what you are doing..." A lone tear spilled down Amanda's right eye in that moment.

I only stared at her, helplessly. Then on an afterthought, Amanda kissed me on the cheeks and smoothed the front of my beautiful dress.

"I don't think politicians are patient people. Let's get you on your way to your groom." Amanda declared softly.

The forced smile on my face, didn't reach my eyes. But it worked. I didn't even want to linger on the reason my sister had such a guarded expression. I could only hope that my own expression wasn't rueful.

Ignoring my sister's efforts to Porsche up my face, I grabbed my bouquet of white roses and walked out of the room to meet her devious husband to be.